rise up!!!!!

i feel more and more clear that i won't do it. it hurts but i know i won't be able to change anything...certainly i'll try... but usually when such a feeling exists it's useless..
i don't know what to do with my life... and nobody can help me in this connection.
that time and those people are my past and they won't become my future, especially he. it's so stupid of me. but i'm always stupid when it concerns my relations with people... i have to learn to forget and to leave people and my thougts about them otherwise it will be impossible for me to keep all this through my life.
wishes often come true... but this time i'm afraid i'm too weak to make my wishes true =((((((